Monday, March 30, 2009

Who's Win Was it Anyway?

According to MapQuest, I'm 589 miles and more than 9 hours from Jenn.

Actually, although the distance is correct, the time is really more like 2 1/2 hours, by air. I'm currently sitting in the Kansas City "International" Airport, enjoying a frosty beverage, waiting for my flight to start boarding. I've been here the last two weeks and I'm more than ready to get back home.

As luck would have it, these weren't the best weeks to be away from Jenn. We're a little more than week in to her new membership website ( being up and running and she had a big speaking engagement last Wednesday. And I feel horrible that I haven't been there to support her in person.

A great part of our relationship is the true joy we take in each other's accomplishments. Jenn says she never sees me light up the way I do when we're celebrating one of her successes. And I'd have to agree with her.

I'm always so proud of her when she accomplishes something that she's been working hard for. Whether it's being quoted in Cosmo, being featured in 5280 (a popular local glossy magazine), appearing as an expert in MSN Dating or in Happen ('s e-zine) articles, being interviewed on TV or launching a truly revolutionary dating coaching site, I take great pride in all of Jenn's successes.

She is an amazing woman who is absolutely passionate about her role as a dating and relationship expert. To see her succeed after so many years of hard work gives me as much or more joy than I would feel if I was the one who accomplishing so much.

I am so proud of Jenn for chasing her dream and working so hard to build her vision. And I'm grateful to be along for the ride, sharing in all of her accomplishments.

Readers: How do you celebrate your partner's wins?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

An Irish Blessing for You

I'm super Irish, with the white skin and matching freckles- so to celebrate good ole St Patrick- I'm sharing with you this Irish blessing.

We wrapped up our wedding ceremony last year with it- so it's a favorite!

A Blessing from St. Patrick

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

And so too, for love.

May you be blessed to have these winsome conditions on your journey of the heart!

Indeed, you can make it so!

Bless your love, every single day.
Readers: Please share how you bless your love!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Serving with Love: A Doggy Tale

Lately, too many times, I’ve found our greyhound, Ice, piled in a quivering heap on the floor, desperately trying to get up, with his back legs not quite cooperating the way they did when he was a youth.

Yup, there’s no doubt about it, Ice is getting old.

There’s a hitch in his giddy-up when he runs. And he doesn’t get up and down stairs the way he used to.

In fact, there is a big step in our garage and every time he goes up it, you have to support his hind end with a little pick up. And when he goes to get up after lying down awhile, or over night, he appreciates it if you help an old man out.

Now, I think I’ve said this before. But I am not a dog person. It’s those soft, cute kitties and that purring sound that makes my heart all melty inside. And Ice is Greg’s dog.

Ice and the Beagle, they came with Greg- a package deal.

So “loving” Ice hasn’t come, shall we say, naturally. In fact, I’ll admit it.

There are times when I am self-absorbed in work, and the needs of the dogs, seem, well, annoying. “What? You need some love, RIGHT now?” Or, “Good lord, must you get outside just this minute?”

I know what you are thinking, “Thank goodness she doesn’t have kids”- and believe me, I agree.
So, it’s been interesting to note how I’ve taken to all of this “little extra care.”

Actually, I’ve been surprised to find that whenever I lift him up, I do it with, well, love. I see he needs help, and I extend myself to offer it to him.

As I place my hands under his legs, I feel it, right there, a warm bit of tender, loving care, emanating from my heart to him. I’m doing it to help. I’m doing it to make his life easier. And I’m doing it because, it’s the right thing to do, of course.

But it feels nice to offer it, to be of assistance, even in a small way. But most especially, to offer it with real love, not begrudgingly, and not just with neutrality, but with warmth in my heart. Tenderness, given without expectation of any return.

Like a tiny little gift each time, I am serving him, but there is a reward for us both.

As I’ve been pondering the WAY in which I’ve been offering assistance to Ice, it struck me that it’s the same choice we can make to help our partners, with the things that otherwise we find annoying.

Let’s take that ever increasing line of travel mugs that Greg takes to work to support his coffee habit. They have a way of piling up next to the sink, waiting for someone to take pity on them, and wash them out. I hate doing it, so I let them gather there. And Greg usually washes them.

Or the toilet bowls, which quite frankly, don’t wash themselves either. And Greg hates cleaning them, so he never does.

These are choice moments. The kind of choices that make the difference between love that lasts a lifetime and love that peters out before the 7 year itch.

Can I choose to wash his mugs or clean the toilets, with the same love in my heart that I pick up Ice with, knowing that each is like a tiny gift to Greg- something that makes his life easier?

In fact, I’ve already been doing the toilets like that. Yes! The toilets are a gift to Greg! But we can always take it a step farther…and for me, it’s those darn mugs.

I need to start picking each of those mugs up, seeing it as an opportunity to serve Greg, in a tiny, warm way. I can wash that mug with love, with tenderness in my heart, seeing it as a small offering, a small gift of assistance. Or I can continue to see each mug as an annoyance- which irritates us both.

You have that choice too! With every sock you pick up, with every meal you cook, every shirt you fold, every trash can you take out, every toothpaste cap you have to put back on.

You can turn any annoyance into a small gift, by choosing to serve in love, with warmth in your heart. All it takes is seeing it as an opportunity to give willingly to your partner, simply because it feels good to help out. And your bond is strengthened, right then and there.

That’s how love lasts a lifetime, one mug lovingly cleaned at a time, one sock tenderly picked up, one errand sweetly undertaken in higher service, not only to our partner, but to our love.

I’m glad Ice is teaching me this lesson deeply now, because I am sure that ever greater acts of kindness will be needed as he ages, as Greg and I, also grow older.

Thank you Ice for training my heart to give in service to love.

Readers: What annoyance can you shift into an opportunity to serve kindly, in love?